After Joseph died, I got to experience grief on a whole different level than I had ever done before. It was a whole different perspective.
Rather than being the one unsure of what to say and awkwardly avoiding the griever, I got to be on the receiving end of kind gestures and sensitive (and sometimes insensitive) condolences.
Yes, I will honestly admit that I was usually on the sideline, so afraid of saying the wrong thing that I did nothing. I hope that changing that is one good thing that comes from Joseph’s death.
I waited a few weeks to post about Joseph on social media. When I finally did, it was a little overwhelming and depressing.
Sooooo many people commented.
I felt overwhelmed, feeling like I needed to reply to each comment. I also felt resentful, knowing how detached they got to be from the situation.
For some reason, a million comments saying “we’re praying for you” didn’t actually comfort me hardly at all.
Texts and personal messages show more thought and investment than social media comments.
My one complaint about texts is how much they make you feel like you need to reply. I ended up spending a lot of time replying to texts weeks after I had received them, letting people know I had gotten texts and appreciated them.
Cards were my favorite.
For one thing, they represented thought and time, no matter whether the message was long or short.
For another, no reply felt necessary. I felt like I could be grateful and feel loved without having to respond in kind. If I felt like it, I texted the sender to let them know I had gotten it.
I also enjoyed that cards gave me a physical thing to hold onto and keep. It sounds strange, but when your whole world changes in a moment, something that can be touched and seen can mean so much.
Lastly, cards from anyone meant so much, even if I didn’t know them well. It didn’t matter if it was my former principal, a woman from my church congregation that I didn’t know very well, or roommates I had been very close to in the past, they all meant something to me. It felt like they had taken a second to sit and be with me in my grief.
Cards became an important thing for me when we started this business.
I felt like the sympathy cards we had were stereotypical and only seemed appropriate for sending to your grandma after a death.
After losing Joseph, I realized how many situations and people could merit a beautiful card that just lets you know someone cares. These cards could be beautiful, simple, and even sometimes funny to give a different way of sending love.
You don’t have to know what to say to help. Just take whatever you would have said in a text or on Facebook and write it down in a card. It definitely means more ❤️
Thanks so much for sharing your difficult journey, I’ve learned a lot from you and have been so impressed by your ability to process and share things. You are a talented artist and your experience with cards vs. other forms of reaching out makes a lot of sense! Love you!
Little Teardrop Co. replied:
Thank you for taking the time to read through my posts, Sarah! I appreciate hearing from you. Love you, too!