I got lost at Walmart the other day.
I don't mean the kind of lost that happens when you're a kid, where you go to the front and they call your parents over the intercom, but some of the feelings are the same.
I went to pick up a few things at Walmart after my therapy appointment. My mom was watching the kids, so I was trying to hurry. However, I had a specific item I was looking for that I couldn't find, and somehow ended up in the emotional minefield known as THE BABY SECTION.
Now, I have been to the baby section since Joseph was born, but today there was a young lady (does that make me sound old?) perusing the baby clothes. She looked so hopeful and happy that I just fell apart.
It felt like I was lost, but I'm struggling to say why I use the word "lost". I wished that I were that woman. I wondered where my baby is. I wondered if I would ever feel that much joy over baby clothes again or if they would always leave me with that sense of emptiness.
I felt like that cloud followed me for the rest of my shopping.
The good news is that this situation happened to me a lot after I had Joseph, but it has gotten better since. Every time I went to the store, I would see happy families with cute babies and feel that cloud trailing me wherever I went. This week was the first time it has happened in a while.
This is what grief looks like for me. What does it look like for you?
P.S. This is my first graphic novel-type work that I've done, and I know it's not perfect. Thanks for visiting and I hope you enjoyed it!