Happy Half Birthday

Dear Joseph,

Happy Half Birthday! It's hard to believe that it's been 6 months without you. What's even harder is thinking about how we've almost been without you as long as you were with us. That makes my heart ache.

I have so many questions about you. How are you? What are you doing? Do you miss us? Do you visit us often? I'm trying to trust and be patient with not having answers.

We've been getting ready for Christmas and we're including you. Your footprints are on our tree, we have presents for you, and we even got you a tiny Christmas tree to deliver when we come visit you on Christmas. We talk about you often and I think about you every day.

One thing we are doing to celebrate you today is visiting the hospital where you were born to deliver things for babies who might need it. I'm looking forward to helping people and remembering you at the same time.

Six months is a fun age, and I wish we were celebrating this with you. You would be rolling over, smiling, and starting to sleep through the night. We'd be swiping your mouth constantly for chokeables and seeing which baby food you like the best. Your brother and sisters would love playing with you and helping take care of you. The twins are at the age where they have to stick pacifiers in the baby's mouth like a missing puzzle piece, and your big sister loves to make babies laugh-- and she's good at it, too!

Even though they can't do these things with you, they talk about you all the time. We are sad that the twins stopped calling you "Jophes" and can now say your name correctly. They picked out presents for you at the dollar store, and your big sister was especially thoughtful in picking out something she thought you would like. We hope you like them. I like to think that you know these things and consider yourself part of our family.

It's hard to feel that every month without you takes me farther away from you. It's like we left you in June 2021, and we're constantly chugging away from that spot.

If you were here, I'd hug you tight and kiss you all over. If I could talk to you, I'd tell you how much we love you and miss you. I'd tell you that you always have a spot in our family. 

I love you, my little boy. I pray for you every day.

Love,

Mommy